We stress that they know they can continue to talk to us.
My husband and I took them out just us with each individually. One came home with questions which prompted our discussion – the other we got before her friends at school started talking. We had ‘the talk’ when two of our daughters were in third grade.Here’s a great reference guide as well! The BIRDS and the BEES.I’m not in the season of talking about sex itself (our oldest just turned 4), but one thing my husband and I have been on the same page with is calling things (body parts and actions) by exactly how and what they are. As a police officer and now as a social worker he has seen far too many instances where kiddos have been sexually abused but only know to reference certain areas or actions by nicknames or alternative phrases.
We love this sermon that gives God’s perspective on purity.I was in the 5th grade (so probably age 10) when we did this. It was honestly the most special moment/weekend with my dad and I’m so thankful for it. He took me out for a super fancy dinner, showing me how a woman should be treated and then presented me with a purity ring. He gave me my first “adult” Bible with my name inscribed in it along with highlighted scripture that he prayed over my life. But continued our conversation along the way. Once in Chicago we went and did a lot of fun things – museums, out to eat, etc. We would have discussions after listening to the tapes, etc. We drove to Chicago and listened to tapes along the way. He actually took me out of town for a weekend and had an entire weekend planned around it. So I’ve never had the talk with my kids but here is what my dad did.And (easier said than done) try not to seem embarrassed or uneasy when you talk to them! I also tell her that it’s a conversation we’ll continue to have as she grows up. I’ve told her what she seems comfortable handling but told her to ask me ANYTHING. I’ve been talking to my 8-year-old in doses.I have sons, and I’m trying to raise them to be men not “guys” so my conversations always includes respect for women’s bodies. You would be shocked what they pick up from friends. Catch them at the age before they start hearing stuff at school.Start talking about anything – at a young age! Let them know they can talk to you. You really just have to take a deep breath and slowly start introducing concepts to your kids.My husband and I were leaders in life teen ministry for years and I had so many jaw dropping moments where I could not believe what these kids had witnessed, heard or experienced going back to elementary! All I know is these kids are exposed to all things sex way too young. Hubs did a campout and I did a girlie spa day.
Going away and “doing something fun” made the “talk” less awkward because it was like talking while doing kind of thing. It was a good workbook and we expanded a lot in the tough areas. Took the kids on a one-on-one getaway, boys with the hubs and me with daughter. We used a program called Passport to Purity.Now as an 8th grader he knows he can talk to us. Have it before they are curious! We had to have the talk in 3rd grade…wasn’t weird.Starting with a book is a great idea, and then go over it. Sometimes it’s good to have these conversations in the car or at night in their bedroom so they don’t have to have direct eye contact. We’ve asked our fantastic Her View team to come up with a few ways to get this discussion rolling. How can I talk about sex with my babies? Weren’t they just learning to walk yesterday? How is this happening? Will someone send me a paper bag? My two oldest babies are now 9 and 7.Īnd they are still babies in my mind.
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